One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
