You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
