I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
