That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
