I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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