drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
