Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
