what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
