Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
