Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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