belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
