So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
