I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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