I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
