Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
