Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We had to coat check the pizza.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
