I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
whose parrot is this?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
