My Higher Power is John Stamos
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
