oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize