Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
