How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
