Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
