Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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