So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
