Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm at about main and main street
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
