went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Dignity is for republicans.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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