do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
