mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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