HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
