He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
