Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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