I wish my penis had an off switch
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
