i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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