these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
