oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
