i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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