Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
