make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
