woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
