i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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