Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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