My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
