ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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