I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I have fence marks all over my body
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
