grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
