When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
