How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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