Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
