Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
