I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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