I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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