out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize