so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
