Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize