plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
