My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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