Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
