So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
