I didn't shave. On purpose
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
