Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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