I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
