2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
