so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
