Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
