Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Randomize
