I heard we made out
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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