Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
